The Saidin Carapace

The madness of Saidin taints all, the slick oil stain hardens into an impenetrable carapace, now my only concern is that I not suffocate in this shell. The channeling has become an important facet now, necessary to my performance. It's the furnace for my emotions now, where they are burned like metals, smelted into weapons to aid me in my worldly successes, to aid me to the top.... but the price is steep, I become more and more numb, unfeeling and uncaring, I find myself fabricating my reactions and emotions...... except happiness. I'm genuinely happy, but it's one of my few remaining genuine emotions.... sadness, compassion, empathy, those are gone.... I think, or buried. The madness is long away, but it creeps and I can feel it at times.... beckoning.